-For everything a candidate has to go through, you look incredibly well-rested. Is that accurate? -Not well-rested. [ Laughter ] We’re hanging in there, though. -You’re hanging in. You had — There was a climate change forum last night. -Yup. -And we have another round of debates coming up. And I was wondering if you
*Intro theme* Tonight: climate change. Every scientist says we’re making things worse, but some people are like “Nuh-uh! Wasn’t us! Didn’t do it! *fart noise*” The debate rages on. Real Estate. With sea levels rising, we’ll tell you which flyover states are about to have prime beachfront property. Wildfires! Everyone knows they’re cool, but one
>>IT APPEARS PRESIDENT TRUMP DOESN’T WANT TO BE A NEW YORKER ANYMORE. COURT DOCUMENTS SHOW HE AND FIRST LADY MELANIA HAVE CHANGED THEIR PERMANENT ADDRESS TO TRUMP’S MAR-A-LAGO ADDRESS IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA. ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
YOU KNOW, FOLKS, WE’RE LEARNING MORE DETAILS ABOUT THE WHITE HOUSE HALLOWEEN FESTIVITIES LAST WEEK, WHERE DONALD TRUMP HANDED OUT CANDY TO TRICK OR TREATERS. HE FINALLY GOT TO MEET WINNIE THE POOH. THEY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON ( LAUGHTER ) THEY’VE BOTH GOTTEN THEIR BUTTS STUCK IN A DOORWAY AFTER EATING TOO MUCH
>>Stephen: YOU MAY KNOW MY GUEST TONIGHT AS THE STAR OF STRANGER THAN CANDY OFTEN THOSE WEIRD COMMERCIALS HE DID. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME STEPHEN COLBERT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING ) THANK YOU VERY MUCH! OH, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>YEAH!>>Jon: ROLLING BABY.>>I LOVE THAT GUY! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT APPLIED TO BE A WRITER ON MY LATE-NIGHT SHOW BACK IN THE EARLY 1990s. HE WASN’T READY THEN, BUT A SPOT JUST OPENED UP. I’D LIKE TO TALK TO HIM, SEE IF HE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>APPLE’S NEW HEADPHONES, THE AIRPODS PRO. HOW DIFFERENT ARE THESE FROM WHAT CAME BEFORE THEM? WHAT’S THE VALUE LIKE? BECAUSE THEY’RE EXPENSIVE.>>THEY ARE EXPENSIVE ♪ ♪ ♪>>WHEN WE CONSIDERED REDESIGNING THE AIRPODS, WE HAD ONE REVOLUTIONARY IDEA IN MIND: HOW CAN WE TAKE SOMETHING SMALL AND EASY TO LOSE AND MAKE IT MORE… EXPENSIVE? (
I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE SEEN MORE HIGH-LEVEL INTELLIGENCE MEETINGS ON CAPITOL HILL, AND THERE IS A GROWING CONSENSUS THAT RUSSIAN HACKERS WORKED TO INFLUENCE THE ELECTION IN FAVOR OF DONALD TRUMP, AND THAT IS DISTURBING TO EVERYONE, EXCEPT TO SOME FOLKS WHO ARE WEIRDLY OKAY WITH IT. THE